Displine Approach: Time-out

Time-out is a discipline approach that involves placing children in a very boring, free from distraction place for several minutes because of unacceptable behaviors. This is more effective than yelling, hitting or threatening. 

The common misbehavior which effective to be corrected by time-out:

• Disobedient to parental instruction
  Parents must teach their children that they are the authorized bosses in the family whom they must submit to. Parents should give maximum three warning to your disobedient child. Allow 5-10 seconds for him to act upon your clear instruction. Children who go against the instruction sent for time out. In consistency, children learn that parents are serious in their business after the maximum three warnings.
• Unacceptable behaviors
  Parents teach children that excessive temper tantrum, hitting, biting, breaking family rule are unacceptable.
• Dangerous behaviors
  Parents definitely want to protect their children. Time-out for any harmful action to themselves, others or property.

In most cases, time-out is failed because of improper implementation. Study the time-out procedures carefully and follow exactly as stated. Be consistent in every use.

• Choose a place away from toys, TV, radios, windows or anything entertaining
  Rule of thumb – isolate children from attention and entertainment, give them a place and time to cool down and think of your word and their misbehavior
• No breakable or dangerous objects nearby
• It is best to make a time-out chair, let children sit in a special straight-back kitchen type chair, rather than comfortable coach or valuable furniture, go for full-size, rather than children size
• Children bedroom typically not a good place, instead the hallway or corner of a room, facing a blank wall or a corner is a smart choice
• Leave the light on if it is in a separate room, we do not mean to scare our children
• Set timer to one minute per year of age, e.g. 2 minutes for 2 years old
• You probably need to send young children, led by wrist to the time-out chair.
• Clearly tell your child what he did wrong and what you expect in one sentence, e.g. “No hitting, but be kind to Mike”
• Quiet in time-out for older children (4 years old and above), consider the time-out completion until they stay quiet for the entire time. Ignore tantrum for younger children. Do not talk to your child during time-out period.
• Remove your child from successful time-out when the timer rings.
• Ask your child why he is in time-out, let him say his misbehavior and your expectation. Repeat to your younger children if they could not say it.
• Then, reaffirm your forgiveness and love to your child. Tell him you have forgiven his misbehavior and you love him.

Parents, never forget to remind yourself that we discipline our children because we love them and we want them turn out good. Control your temper and mind your action. Practice to breath out your anger during children discipline. Check on the guidelines before taking any discipline approach on your child.

SuperNanny demonstrates beautifully how should a timeout be carried out properly and successfully in her TV shows with families who struggle with children misbehavior. Happy Parenting!

Note: All writings in Parenting of this blog are gender-free. "he/him"also refers to "she/her".