Natural Consequences or Reality Discipline

Parents do not have to be the front stage teacher in disciplining our children most of the time. In fact, we can let our children experience the natural results of their action or choice, which called natural consequences or reality discipline. This approach uses real life experiences as the best teacher to guide and direct our children to the right path. They learn what the real world is like and how it works.

Examples of natural consequences:

• coming to dinner late means the food will be cold
• skipping one meal has to wait for the next serving meal
• not dressing properly according to the weather means he will be cold or wet
• putting dirt or sand in the mouth leads to an unpleasant taste
• breaking a toy means it isn't fun to play with anymore
• going to bed late means being sleepy the following day

Some can be logical consequences. Parents or caregivers can remove the privileges for things that been misused or poor handled. For examples: handling the toys improperly means being taken away the toys, playing roughly with toys means having broken toys – no more purchase until further consideration.

Keep the following guidelines as you discipline your child with natural consequences: 

• Teach by example. It is hard to say “sorry” and admit our own fault in some cultures. In fact, when you make a mistake, admit it, apologize and accept the consequences. Furthermore, let your child sees that you too, are human. There, he learns we all make mistakes and we got to learn from our mistakes; be stronger and smarter next time.  
• Remember not to rescue your child from natural consequences of their actions. Instead, respect their choices, accept the result of the choices. E.g. if you tell your child to hold tight the balloon in his hands, the natural consequence if he disobeys is that the balloon will float away and he wouldn't get another one. 
• Accept the consequences calmly and explain the reason why the consequence is the result of his actions or choices. No yelling, arguing nor destructive blaming. 
• Never go to far that alarms your child's safety. Some natural consequences can be dangerous. For example, running in the street can be knocked down by a car. Do not discipline your child with natural consequences for such action which far beyond the safety boundary. Be wise and be understanding of your child in his capability, ability, intention and limitation.

Please read further on some important concerns before taking any discipline approach.

“Love and discipline go hand in hand.” Dr. Kevin Leman. A combination of love and limits helps our children feel safe and secure as they grow.

“do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. “ 

(Ephesians 6:4, ESV)