Dealing with "NO" in Toddler

In regard to the negativism in your children, I suggest some useful JustAMom-tested guidelines, in reference to Patient Education given by pediatric and some parenting experts.

From previous post, Why "NO" in Most Children?, we came to know that this is a normal phenomena in our child's normal development stage. So, please don't take it too personally. This stage of age is important to their development of independence and identity.
Actually, your children says NO means “Do I have to?” or “Do you mean it?”

Therefore, please don't punish your child for saying NO. We should discipline our children for what they do, not what they say at this stage. A wise parent will choose to ignore it and direct her child into other activity. For example, when your child insists to watch TV, decline his request by saying “Look at the good weather, why don't we go to the park now?”. Remember, arguing with your child will only prolong this behavior.

Next, always give your child transition time when at a change of an activity. When he is having fun, but must get into another activity, give him transition time. You can tell him 5 minutes in advance that he needs to go to bath while he is having fun playing with his favorite toys. With this, your child is preparing himself for the next activity.

In fact, some believe that our children learn saying “NO” from their parents. So, please avoid excessive “no” to your child's request. Instead, answer wisely, you may answer “Let me think about it”, or “We can do that next time”. If possible, give a reason for your negative response to his request.

On other hands, say as many “yes” as you say “no” to your child. I will suggest parent to change your “No statement” into “Yes statement”. For instance, instead of “Don't hit the dog”, say it “You can hit the ball”.

Another fact is that too many restrictions cause more negativism in your child. Avoid excessive rules for your child. It is harder for young children to follow many rules. By setting more rules, you are creating more chances for your child to practice “NO”.

This is a very effective strategy to deal with your child in negativism. Give your child limited choices, just two workable options. Your child will gain a sense of freedom and control by making decision. Human not just self-centered, but control craving.

Example 1: “Which color of shirt would you like to wear, the blue one or the green one?”

Example 2: “What do you want to do now? Read a book or play dough?”

Example 3: “Do you want me to do it, or you yourself?”

Remember, DON'T give your child a choice when there is none. E.g. “sitting in the car sear or in the adult passenger seat”. Whenever there is only one option, direct your child in a kindly manner by saying “I'm sorry, but now you have to go to bed”.

Love and Logic Parenting suggests parent to decide after 10 seconds of letting children make decision over the given options. By doing this, your child will learn that parent will decide for him if he didn't decide within the 10 seconds. Anyway, parents must act wisely before your child gets into resistance.